O My Lord, O My Creator,

Last year in the same month I wrote and posted a similar letter to you. Yes it was called Thodi si to lift kara day!!! You very kindly gave me more breathing space. So my state is this: An agnostic like me is left more confused. On one side I have new opportunities on the other my home, my only home Pakistan still struggles under humunguous burden of troubles. No matter whatever I do the situation does not seem changing. It is true that Pakistan has won the T20 cup, something that seemed impossible and brought with it soaring national spirit. But that’s that. Our every day problems are graver than just that. Is there any silver bullet to end them all? Likewise can we dream of a country where tolerance and pluralism with healthy competition are order of the day? On one side my personal improvement has forced me to think that you exist and you listen to us mortals. Yet the amount of pain and suffering I witness around me makes me stubborn and in desperation I want to deny your existence and severe all ties with those who take your name. Why, after all, the blood we see everywhere is being spilled in your name. Can you please not help us mortals in stopping all of this rubbish and by doing so reinforce our faith in you?
I have some more bones to pick too. Now I am a TV talkshow host for a growing news channel. But somehow I feel totally helpless in doing anything substantial for the people. How can I when I am embroiled in personal matters and when even I a trained analyst fail to make sense of the going ons in my dear country? Not quite. And there certainly is something in your decisions about fulfilling desires without delivering their substance. For instance you will remember the days when during the lawyers’ movement the Chief Justice was not being restored, Geo Network  for which I was then working was shutdown. We fought for the restoration of both. We also wanted democracy to triumph and the dictator to go. And then please remember the day when we were praying that Obama may win. Today the Chief Justice has been restored to his seat but justice for all still seems elusive. Geo is free and yes I am not with it. In the 2008 national election the democratic forces triumphed and the dictator is gone, yet since you took Mohtarma Benazir Bhutto away from us, the democrats sound more like dictators. Obama has won but even though there have been a lot of pledges things in my part of the world are not changing as quickly as they should have. This creeping sense of impotence, when you know you have some means though not all, of bringing about the change and then owing to the treachery of the circumstances you cannot do anything, is killing me and I am once again losing my marbles.
I simply don’t know why things get saturated whenever you take a new step. This misfortune is that the idols that I have worshipped now expect nothing but an absolute sycophant. You know well that I cannot be one. Consequently every direction I take, my goal post boils down to a burning sea of mirages. Is there no direction left or am I destined to keep running in circles? Am I to be punished for competence, not incompetence, forever? Here is the deal. You have bestowed upon me the gift of barking, give me teeth now and I will bite only those who befoul your name. Give me hands of glory and they will be used only to fight injustice and help the victims. Thori si lift aur kara day. 

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