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How do you father a nuclear bomb?

I was going through a piece carried in the Washingon Post titled Father of Pakistan’s Bomb Stands Defiant that I was faced with an epistemological dilemma. How do you father a bomb? I am still working on the answer. However the interim answer can be a bit vulgar and hence readers’ discretion is advised. The folks at IAEA (sounds like a punjabi verb) should know that I am not a technical hand and hence what I am engaging in is pure guesswork. If by a stroke of misfortune I hit the nail at its head kindly do not consider me one of those proliferating the deadly technology. I am afraid that I already have a name which can easily indict me. Yes my middle name is Khan.
So folks how do you father someone or something? You sleep with its mother, no? In my humble opinion in order to father a bomb you need to sleep with its mother. Now the biggest problem is how do you find a radioactive woman with whom to sleep? And since she is radioactive what measures would you take to protect yourself from radioactivity. The first part is far trickier than the second. After all you do not find Mata Hari in this age. Had it been a matter of only tongues then most of the women would have qualified for the opening. But no you need women (or other creatures) whose wombs are radioactive and that implies that they have to have a radioactive body too. Let’s for a moment assume that the nuclear establishment had managed to find a woman or creature endowed with this capacity. What then?
The second part then is perhaps only a bit less trickier. Our bodies are not made of matter than can sustain radioactivity when exposed to the radiations. Such people who have to father a bomb hence would have only a very short life of glory to live. Hence the term half life (or in Harry Potter’s world a cursed life) creeps into my mind. Fathering a bomb then is a matter of great self sacrifice.
Now it is naturally understood that in order to make love to such a woman you need some special protective covering. Please remember that when Pakistan got its nuke the test tube technology had not developed enough. Hence what had to be done was to be done in plain old fashioned way. The prospective father of the bomb would have to wear a radiation protective body suit at least like the Mormon body socks. But it would have still left the main organ needed for procreation (such an important memento of the activity) open to the radiations. Perhaps that is why a condom of the same variety was need to protect it. But the key function of a condom apart from destroying the fun, is to impede the reproductive material to reach its target. That mean the condom would then have to have a tiny hole to keep the stuff across the border. now that hole would have brought in radioactivity also. Hence perhaps it was decided that following that hole would be three small chambers. Now these chambers would one by pass the content to its target and hence keep the man safe from the radiations. Is it what is called a centrifuge? This is the process of only for fertilization. And then perhaps at the time of fertilization perhaps the rest of the support staff would surround the scene of the coitus in thermal suits recite lines from Douglas Adams’ HitchhikerWhat happens for next nine months and what happens to the radioactive woman after that is open to your conjecture. I may discuss it some other time especially once I have more clues. But to our western friends here is a question. If you think Dr A Q Khan did all this then go ahead and call him the father of the Pakistani bomb. Otherwise please try to understand that a country’s nuclear program is beyond one man’s singluar influence and that the AQ Khan chapter has already been closed. Perhaps you should stop calling him by that name.